by Lee Down, December 22, 2003

It's just a general malaise, dissatisfaction, with the status quo. Unfulfilled, not connected, not doing something that really lights that spark. I'm sure you know what
I mean.

I had a myriad of ideas when my employer laid me off. I've failed at one business already a couple of summers ago. Then I retreated; I retreated from work, from life, into my home, away from responsibility, away from my ideas and placed more importance on me. I felt selfish, irresponsible, guilty, lazy, et al. Again, anyone out of work, you know what I mean!

My computer died, along with it, so did much material for many of my ideas. Whoa! What's this I noticed, I feel lighter, more able to focus. It may be short-lived but I'll take it while I can. Rebuilt the computer, discovered I can finally play games. I did that. I forgot about a lot of what has been (key word here) DRIVING me. I learned to
relax again. I learned a bit more about my self. Still not where I think I should be, but certainly more aware again.

Read a lot of books!!! Now this leads to where I'm going with this post. In light of all this striving, driving, achieving, dissatisfaction with life, work, meaning, etc. I really wonder the reason why. There was a time when the work wasn't so important, that
we could enjoy just going to work and the rewards of work: Time off, money to enjoy it, family, friends, hobbies, volunteers, special interests etc.

Now, what's been happening to our world of work? Are we working harder, striving to do more with less? Are we feeling this malaise because we're not taking our time for our own creative pursuits, for our own Rest & Relaxation? Are we searching for some meaning? Is this lack of meaning because we're not feeding our spirit? Isn't our spirit a creative being? How do we feed that with this go, go, go, attitude in society today? How can we take time to relax and enjoy being ourselves when society is continually pushing us to do more, more, more; what?

I've been doing some interesting reading lately and some interesting re-reading. One that really raised a number of these questions is Aldous Huxley, Island, and then the Brave New World Revisited.

Now I'm working on the Vein of Gold, the sequel to the Artists Way. I'm no artist in the literal sense of our culture, drawing, painting and such, but I do think we're all artists of a sort. Now working with this book, getting back to some basics, which is what this book reinforces, I find myself slowing down and getting back in touch with myself. In light of the other reading, the cause and effect of our culture on my own particular situation, the similarities with others I've seen asking the BIG questions, I can't help but wonder if this questing, searching that we're all on, has more to do with our spiritual evolution than it does with our career?

 I feel there is something here for us all to discover that may just alleviate our sense of despair. As a recent contact in my network said to me recently, "Our whole life is our career, not just what we've come to label our paid work." What he means is a more holistic approach to career. Your career is your life; it is your kids, your hobbies, your reading, your sports, your volunteering, your work, your relationships, and so on.

If our lives are so one dimensional, it's no wonder we're all eager to look elsewhere and it's no wonder we're so at a loss as to where to look.